How to jump start your dick: A guide, By: John Egbert
by Dave Elizabeth Strider
Summary: Just what it sounds like


It happened by accident I swear! It was just a normal evening with the chums. You know, playing video games, drinking soda, listening to Karkat and Dave bicker. Totally not weird.

Yet.

Okay wow, this must be super confusing. Here let me back up a bit.

Hi, I'm John Egbert. I'm 17 years old and have two best friend named Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas. We're just typical chums, in a typical school, with typical lives. In tell three months ago when we were having one of our weekly game nights. Dave's Bro was out-of-town with some DJ gig or something. So we all piled over there, ordered a pizza and played our shitty ninja(courteous of Dave) games.

I was losing but I dint really care at the moment, cause I was to busy laughing at Dave and Karkat fight over which was more useful. A pineapple or a watermelon(don't ask), like an old married couple. I reached over Karkat's lap(who was in between me and Dave on the couch), to grab a hand full of chips sitting on the side table next to Dave. Snagging my prize I brought it back over to my side of the cough, but not before I dropped a few on to Karkat and Dave laps. Stuffing what was left in my palm into my mouth, I reached over quickly plucking the dropped pieces from the old bickering idiots laps. Munching on the rescued chips, I turn my attention but to the game. In tell I realized my two companions have abandoned the game.(it was really obvious when I got into first place)

I set my controller down and turned to my friend. Both of them had hard stares fixed on me. "Umm, hi?" I squeaked, feeling oddly exposed under their gaze. Neither spoke they just kept staring. After a few moments their both picked up their controllers and started to play silently. I was a little freaked out by the odd actions.

For the rest of the night my face felt very heated. By the end of the night my stomach was twisted in knots, not being able to eat another bite of food or focus on any of the games or movies.

When we settled down for the night in our respective sleeping bags, I tossed and turned as the others snores filled the room.

What on Earth was this jittery, twisted feeling in my gut? Thoughts raced and tumbled in my mind but nothing was clear to me in the jumble. A slap of wood hit wood startled me from my pondering(heehe, I like that word, pondering, heehe). A stumble and a curse later I identified the intruder as Dave's older brother, back from the DJ gig across town. I looked at the clock, horrified when I realized it was 2 in the morning.

These thought kept me up for the rest of the night, in tell the first rays of sun peeked through the window by Dave desk. My eyelids, them finally slipped shut against the seer exhausted of not getting any proper sleep. Of course the we had to get up and have breakfast. Duh,*_sign_*

We all stumbled into the kitchen, still laden in our sleep wear. Dave was wearing boxers and a tight tank top I was trying really had not to notice, and Karkat and my self both wore long sweat pants and old t-shirt for our sleep attire. We all wondered into the kitchen moving around dirty dishes and lost homework assignment to get the proper essential for a suitable breakfast. Just as we found clean(enough) bowls to eat from Bro walked in, wear nearly the same thing as Dave but with orange boxers instead of red. He stared at us for moment before grabbing some juice and going back to his room. Karkat and my self stood there frozen like deer and headlights as Dave bustled around the kitchen finishing getting his breakfast. Karkat mumbled a "jackass" under his breath and poured milk over the bowl of dry cereal Dave left out for him(he was too short to get the boxes from the top of the fridge.). Mumbling something about stupid Strider's he folded Dave back into the living room.

I was still standing there, staring at the spot wear Bro had stood. That same crazy fuzzy feeling flooded my chest, but not like it did last night with Kar and Dave. This was different. More heat, more rushed thoughts that are going to all the wrong places. Forgetting my breakfast I rushed to the bathroom slammed and lock the door before I proceed to freak out.

I was totally gay for my best friend's brother. Shit

But I had the same feeling thing with Dave and Kar!...No I'm gay for my best friend's brother _and_ my best friends. All the distressing thought had pushed out any arousal in my body, leaving an empty feeling where the heat had been. Maybe I'm not gay for them, maybe I'm just gay and it was a kick-start, like' hay hot dude! Cool!'. God I hope so, I whisper to my self before I brave the living room.

I came back to finishing making my food though I don't really want to eat. Setting my mostly full bowl next to the empty bowls and juice glasses on the coffee table. Sitting down at the end of the couch that wasn't taken, my torso was slumped over the arm rest, Karkat was curled up like a cat on the middle cushion, and Dave had his back against the other arm rest and his impossibly long leg where between Karkat and the back of the couch.

After about ten minuets Dave picked up the remote and flipped on the TV, channel surfing in tell he decided to just put in a movie. He jumped back on the coach, kicking Karkat in the lower back "Watch it asshat!" shouted the much shorted boy. Dave just turned his black face gaze on him, his eye hiding by the dark shades. There just stared at each other for a moment more, and then Dave poked Karkat in the back once more. Karkat bared his teeth an snarled, looking like he wished to kill Dave. Wouldn't be new if he did. Dave kept poking Karkat from his middle back to the back of his thighs. Karkat gave one last snarl before he unfurled from the spot on the coach and promptly crawled into my lap, and curled back up. I was shocked into to silence, at the small boy in his lap.

Karkat was warm and soft, and pressing right on top of my dick.


End file.
